I recently asked John C. Wayne, my roommate of three years and co-creator of the ‘Mainest Man’ list, to offer up his weekly ballot…of course he abided.
1) Justin Timberlake - will be undeniable as the sexy/charming/crafty/crazy like a fox antagonist in the new facebook movie. And even if he drops the ball - or the movie just sucks - you can still bump futuresex/lovesounds, which I just did three days ago, and is still a timeless masterpiece.
2) Ben Rapelisberger - best p.r. move of all time in getting a blowjob from a 20 year old in a bathroom. Apparently he’s taken the summer off as far as partying goes, and is in the best shape of his life. Steelers will finish 1-3 in the first four games with mediocre (at best) performances from the other 2 qbs and Ben will be Pittsburgh’s savior when he leads them into the playoffs. Which, of course, will mean more blowjobs…
3) Jason Derulo - Singing your name before every one of your shitty but addictive sound-the-same songs is the best call.
4) Sarah Palin aka the 45th president of the united states - Barack Obama has proved that all it takes to be the president is to be a celebrity. Plus somewhere between 75-98 percent of men vote with their dick, so excluding the closeted gay republicans, this milf will get 25-33 percent of the male vote. I can give her nothing but respect and allegiance.
5) Stephen Slater aka the badass flight attendent - Who hasn’t wanted to jump off those airplane emergency slides after having gay sex and telling all passengers to fuck off?
Worst of the week:
Hypocritic Bible thumping Christians - While escorting a young woman to a free clinic for A PHYSICAL EXAM a priest looks at me and says “escorting a fetus to it’s murder, that’s a job I’m glad I’ve never had.” Escorting my dick to an altar boys mouth is a job I’m glad I’ve never had.
